i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
