His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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