i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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