time to smoke my breakfast
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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