Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Drake has all the answers
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
