I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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