id be glad to
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
