u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
