the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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