new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
