Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
