is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
