there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
