I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Terrible idea I love it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
