yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
