But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
