thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
