Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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