I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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