My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
