Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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