her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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