Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
