Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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