No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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