She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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