Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
