Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
