Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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