I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
