so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
