omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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