Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
