I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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