these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
