break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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