Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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