What a fucking waste of an outfit
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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