this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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