Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
