ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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