So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
