i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
