My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
