I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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