So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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