Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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