a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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