U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
