If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
