Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
